Monday, May 24, 2010

So He Popped the Question....I'm Confused

How long is long enough to know someone before you all decide to throw your life away get married?


A friend of mine called last night to tell me she was engaged.  She is the type of person to do anything she can to help you and you usually need a stiff drink before/and or after you get a call from her a bit naive when it comes to men.  Now I am usually elated and happy for my friends who are about to ride off in that gangsta chariot to matrimony.  This particular situation has my nerves uneasy.  She has advanced degrees and has been engaged in her past at a much younger age(20).  She called that engagement off because he was a loser A** ninja of his infidelity issues.  Fast forward to age 31......She met this guy mid Fall of 09, they haven't even known each other a year......and I think they have been exclusive for about 2 months.  He is from Africa(paperwork is in order folks) and is in the field of academia.  I know nothing really about this guy other than his name, which I learned last night in conversation.  She also called a mutual friend of ours to let her know of the engagement.  My other friend was elated.....but told me she didn't even know that she was dating someone, even more someone serious.

After all of the engagement hoopla, she mention to me that she wanted to let all of her close friends now before she changed her face book status....this confused me.  If I just recently got engaged...I wouldn't be concerned about letting the Face book world, know..but hey...that's just me.  Getting back to the point I wanted to make...since we are your close friends...why did I just learn his name last night...and how come you didn't even bother to tell your other close friend that you were exclusively dating someone.....Now I understand the fact that, it doesn't matter how much of or little I know about the guy my friend plans to marry.....I just hope she knows AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE...He is a little older so maybe, just maybe he is mature and just knows he is ready.....

All in all, I understand that ultimately it is her own personal decision to make, which she has..who she marries....my question is as a friend, am I just supposed to be happy for her while there is this little feeling tugging at my heart.  Or should I listen to the tug(discernment) and just voice my concern and be done with it?I know I can't save everybody from everything..and there is a strong possibility that my voice of concern may not change anything which, I'm totally OK with...I just feel like it is my duty as a friend to walk this thin line of minding my own business and allowing people to make their decisions but also voice my concern about situations that directly effect their long term well being......

I think the song is fitting.....Hope my friends marriage has the same ending as this video.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlMvO2jUkH8

-Level Headed Chick

2 comments:

BMW Leaders said...

The sanctity of marriage these days is questionable. Its more a business relationship than anything else these days and if the choice isnt right, a person can end up with a huge liability.

The mere fact that your friend's biggest concern is chaging her FB status is a sign that things may not be all the way right. I really think FB relationship updates is the highlight of people's engagement process these days.

I have a friend who is marrying a preacher this fall but just last year she was in a lebian relationship...her ex-lover is also currently engaged to a person of the opposite sex. Enough said.

All in all, I do hope the best for your friend.

BMW Leaders said...

The sanctity of marriage these days is questionable. Its more a business relationship than anything else these days and if the choice isnt right, a person can end up with a huge liability.

The mere fact that your friend's biggest concern is chaging her FB status is a sign that things may not be all the way right. I really think FB relationship updates is the highlight of people's engagement process these days.

I have a friend who is marrying a preacher this fall but just last year she was in a lebian relationship...her ex-lover is also currently engaged to a person of the opposite sex. Enough said.

All in all, I do hope the best for your friend.